The Randomness That Is My Life Continues

Sometimes you have to do really hard things. And they seem nearly impossible. And you know you have to baby-step your way through them, but the anxiety about ever completing the task in a good-enough way is like a huge pressure on your chest. It's worse when you're sick, and there are several of these things going down. Just breathing without having a coughing fit feels like a huge, anxiety-laden ordeal, and yet you have to worry about so many other things at the same time. Life is hard. The worst thing, money would solve all of the problems.

It other news, today has been an ordinary day: plenty of reading, some chores, some game playing. The weather is super warm and sunny. Seventy-eight degrees in the kitchen without any supplementary heat on and with most the windows and doors open. I had good talking time with Snow, and I am feeling optimistic. Diana has been extra supportive. But still, life is hard, at least for me.

I woke up in the midst of a bad dream this morning. My sleep had been interrupted many times with coughing fits, and so, my sleep pattern was not my typical. It was a being-abandonned dream, and a crying-and-no-one-cares dream. It was hard and the feeling of desperation lingers.

Song in my head as I awoke: Take Me to Church by Hozier

Birds I have seen so far today: Crows, geese, male brown-headed cowbird, dark-eyed junkos, black-capped chickadees, pileated woodpecker, downy woodpecker, starling, others that were too far way to ID

Extra chores done today: Vacuumed living room

In the lunch bowl: Leftover pork stew & biscuit

In the cup: Hot apple cider

On the dinner plate: Maybe pork chops? Maybe chili? Maybe pizza? Perhaps even pasta. I don't know.