Yesterday, we did have fun though, going on a fun outing! Also I think we have made up good, but I do get so scared in a fight. I doubt everything. I think I have made things up in my head to make things look good and to paint people the way I want or hope them to be, ignoring reality. I work so, so, so hard to try to avoid manipulating anyone ever, and that leads to a whole lot of suppressing myself. Truthfully, I wonder if it is a type of masking. Probably it would be healthier if I was just me and I didn't worry about manipulating others. It feels very complicated inside of me. I have been accused of manipulation so many times, but really, I am just expressing my point of view in, what to me feels like, the kindest way possible. And shouldn't I let others deal with their own stuffs. I try, but it is hard. There is so much I could write on this, but there are other things I want to write about today too so I will pause here.
Our outing yesterday was to go out to eat at the Dinosaur BBQ restaurant in Syracuse with Diana's mom and her mom's best friend, plus our kids Emma, Snow, Michael, JoAnn, and Lia, plus our close family friend Oliver and Lia's girlfriend Trisha. Oh! And our grandkids, Benji & Kuromi. I had the cheesesteak style sandwich with pulled pork & swiss plus sides of macaroni salad and fries. All was good and not too much food. Diana had the poutine, & it was a disappointment to her, but still filling and not terrible. We stayed relatively in budget! Then we got groceries and headed home.
I also finished a Pokemon collection challenge at some point this weekend, and I continue to work my way through the most recent season of Dream Home Makeover plus the first season of Outer Banks.
On the lunch plate: leftover seafood ravioli, cornbread with butter, homemade applesauce
On the dinner plate: sheet pan dinner with pork chops, carrots, & broccoli
In the cup: orange pineapple seltzer
Novel: Love & Olives by Jenna Evans Welch
Nonfiction: The Collected Poems by Sylvia Plath
Gaming: Happy Acres
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