So I've been doing this list thing, and it has seriously helped me feel grounded. But the problem is that I don't know how to handle it when things go wrong and everything in the list doesn't get done by the end of the day. And yes, this can happen even when the list is short and reasonable. Things come up that can make it all so tough!
Also dinner! Should I plan meals or not. Fact, I am overall happier when I don't plan meals. Fact, planning meals at least slightly reduces my anxiety, ensures we actually have enough food, and likely overall gives us healthier fare (that part is not 100% sure to me.) Writing this all out, I think I shouldn't plan meals. :"> But I sort of like doing it. It makes buying groceries so much easier! I guess I should consider that aspect too.
Third earning money. It seems that to be 100% solvent, I have to start earning money regularly again to help us deal with a large car payment, likely winter heating bills, and those always possible emergency expenses. The amount I need to earn is not at all huge, but I can't seem to do it consistently. It can take a lot of time and effort, which cuts into other important things.
Now, I'm getting distracted, and I can't focus on this, but I know it is important! It is important because different types of organizing do give me safety and help me feel in control of my life.
So, I want to do my listy list every day, but I don't want to plan the meals. If I don't plan the meals I don't have to freak out so much when the grocery store doesn't have what I planned or only has it low quality or only has it too high priced.
So what do I do when the listy list doesn't get done? At this moment I don't know.
I try scheduling time periods, and that is the worst! I am definitely an "abolish time" person, but, I need to eat on a schedule. I'd like to think that I would have dealt with the whole eating thing better if I had been raised in a society without time and without dietary/body expectations. Now, as an "older" American, I have proven to myself over and over and over again that if I go off eating on a schedule (I can handle minor occasional adjustments due to extenuating circumstances or special events) I don't do well. I get sick. I don't know when I am hungry. I way over eat or way under eat. So that clock helps me keep my body nourished properly, so how in the world can I be an "abolish time" person.
OK, I acknowledge that eating on a time schedule is great for me but not deciding ahead of time what or how much I am going to eat. What I really need to figure out is what I am going to do about the listy list when I don't get everything done, and the money earning.
Ideally, if I don't finish things on the list they roll over to the next day unless they are "daily" type of stuffs in which case they just don't get done. I suppose I am OK with that. It is better than things never getting done. I just have to be ummm...careful about how much things I put on the next day's slot if things keep rolling over.
But the money...I think for now I might have to give up. Likely my partner will at least get a small raise this year which will help, or lower the amount I think we need. I will keep ticking away with what I can, and then I will keep a chart so that I can appreciate it more. That does help! But the money earning is the thing that keeps me from getting the other things done!
Done! Done! Done!
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