A field of green with random yellow spots

I keep wanting to run back into a strict schedule or routine for everything. I've only been using teuxdeux for a very short time. I need to sit back and eye my impulses with curiosity, not rushing into thinking things aren't working or changing anything drastically.

Why do I feel this way? Part of it is from an anxiety around not doing enough, but I am doing enough. So, all is well on that front. Part of it is that I don't like uncertainty, and the way my schedule/routine/life is right now, there is a lot of uncertainty. Fact: uncertainty and freedom are a lot alike. Fact: just like I do better with a routine for my eating, I probably do better with a routine for some of the regular activities that I do in my life. But I think this routine has to be super flexible, and it has to develop slowly, gradually, and naturally.

How do I see things now when I look at them with curiosity? I do like to read for a bit right after Diana leaves for work. It moves me into a calm place and sort of separates out the sort of rushing walk/social media/making sure Diana has the things she needs part of the morning to the here-in-the-house focused part of the morning. I do like to shower shortly after that. If I wait until after I've eaten, I start to get this running-late feeling, which may not be true but I still don't like it. The easiest best way to do my knee CARS is on the bed when I am drying off. They don't exhaust me if I do them there, and I focus more on doing them right and not hurting myself.

Continuing to look with curiosity, I still haven't really found a place where it feels like my CARS in general just flow. The same with making the bed. I know that in life things aren't always easy and there isn't always an obvious solution. So I'll still keep those things floating with teuxdeux and remain curious and open.

In the area of success, Diana and I have been doing our morning walks for a long time, and we have never just randomly skipped. I have been doing the after dinner chores for an even longer time, and I have rarely just skipped. Those seem to be things that fit and work.

Song in my head when I awoke this morning: Sunny Day by Mr Tout le Monde (and it was sunny :) )

On the dinner plate: Chicken tikka masala, rice (wish me luck, I am trying to get use to this flavor profile)

Hoping to do today: Take a walk, clean some of the refrigerator, dust my desk